Here are the best 8 ways to overcome your fear
- Value courage over security
- Most fears are irrational
- Reframe fear into excitement
- Treat fear as a call for action
- Gradual desensitization
- Just do it
- Take help
- Dealing with the most common fears
1) Value courage over security
Security is the cocoon which keeps you safe but it does not let you progress. Risk is of course risky but can lead you out of your comfort zone and chances of success increase manifold. Gather the courage to take the risk and push yourself to do the task. By risk, I mean calculated risk. One should not jump into the sea if you do not know swimming but one can at least sit on the rock and dip your legs in water to catch a fish. Don’t let yourself be enclosed in the closed doors of security. Remember even a ray of sunshine does not reach closed doors.
2) Understand that most fears are irrational
They don’t really exist. Why waste your energy and time over something which is non existing? It is a rope and not a snake is what we have been taught since childhood, but never really took the efforts to convince our own brainboxes. The snake still sits in our mind and refuses to vacate the space for the rope. We need to teach our minds that so many factors we fear about, really don’t exist.
3) Reframe fear into excitement
Tell yourself that something wonderful will happen if you do what you are afraid to do. For example, if you are afraid to dance, just consider it as a fun activity, enjoy the moves no matter how imperfect they might be. Do it for yourself without taking into consideration what others think about it. This shift of mind will turn your fear into excitement. Gradually but surely this fear will vanish and you will enjoy it.
4) Treat fear as a call for action
If the fear seems to be outside your control for example economic recession, write down a plan with exact steps that you will take when it starts affecting your business or profession. Going by your principles and on the legal path will relieve your fear to a great extent. Once you have planned in detail and taken appropriate actions to save yourself from the brunt of the fire, you have done your bit, stay cool.
5) Gradual Desensitization
It is a step by step method of overcoming fear. If someone fears the spider, he or she should take this step by step approach wherein he should first make himself comfortable by watching the images or pictures of the spider. After this he can clean the dead cobwebs and then only go close to the live spiders. This method works if the person concerned is really keen to overcome fear and secondly is ready to take efforts persistently.
6) Just do it
This is the most effective mantra according to me. Confront whatever it is you are afraid of directly. If a drug addict fears the withdrawal stage, he should make up his mind, compel himself to take action, stop drugs, face the withdrawal symptoms boldly and get out of the mess. The fear is incapacitating your life, it is high time you need to strengthen your mind power, will power and plunge into action. Think of the rewards awaiting and do it man, there is no other way.
7) Take help
When you find yourself less capable of dealing with your fear alone, don’t hesitate, take help. Help can come from many sources parents, close relatives, genuine friends and well-wishers. At times even this will not suffice, consult the counsellor or the Psychiatrist. It’s okay, if your leg can be fractured, your mind can also be fractured at times and it needs a specialist doctor to mend it.
8) Dealing With The Most Common Fears
Fear of death- If not to the cockroach and the mice, we have to accept that most of us have a constant fear of death, fear of the unknown, fear of failure and fear of what people will say. Death is inevitable and the simple fact that everything which comes to life has to die has to be borne deep in our minds and we should willingly accept death with open arms whenever it knocks our door.
Fear of the unknown- Keeps us anxious all the time and does not let us enjoy the present moment. Whether you believe in the teachings of the Bhagwad Gita or not, we need to accept that whatever is destined to happen, happens and it is the best for us. Anxiety about the unknown steals away the charm of the moment forcing us to live the moment half-heartedly. Instead, if we throw ourselves into the unknown realm ready to face, rather ready to enjoy, we will be able to live to the fullest.
Fear of failure- It is the biggest blocking stone in the journey of success. Most of us succumb to the fear of failure and this prevents us from taking further subsequent steps towards our destination. We must understand that because of fear of failure if we don’t take any action, we have already failed. Suppose you don’t raise your hand during selection for the class representative, it means that you have not given any chance to yourself and accepted failure without trying. Isn’t it cowardice? It is better to give oneself a chance and have fair chances of winning rather than surrendering to the feeling of fear of failure and declaring yourself a loser before the battle begins.
Fear of what people will say- People are people, they will say what they want to say about whatever good or bad you do. They think with their mind and not yours. Their minds cannot be in our control so we just cannot stop them from thinking the way they think and say what they want to say. Just leave them to themselves free to churn their devil minds. There is no point in wasting your energy and efforts on these people who have a great nuisance value.
These common fears will be dealt with in detail in the future blogs.
Hope these tips will suffice. For now, start taking action today, not tomorrow, not next week but right now.
With this, I sign off. See you soon on Sunday with another ray of sunshine.
— Dr. Anu
International Life Coach, Motivational Speaker and Corporate Trainer